A Close Shave

A Close Shave

Sometimes I wonder why we both went down that night.

He had been sick.

We saw him at about the same time,

only two and a bit, standing up in his cot.

He had been sick.

As if he was saying "something's not right".

He had been sick.

Unusual, staring,, gripping the rail,,, then... 

as we watched.... he began.... convulsing.

He had been sick.

Phoning the doctor. 

He had been sick.

Desperate late evening dash to hospital

that drive, those same streets, always on my mind.

Nurses take over, with drugs and tubes

but I know, 

40 minutes of non stop convulsing is not good.

By a whisker it stops.

It is not right... but it stops.

nothing is right

even when his 6 month old brother

props himself up in an incubator and cranes his neck to see the action

his parents, the nurses and doctor all laugh.

Too soon it begins again ,

tests almost as frightening as the illness

and a diagnosis

and the right

drug.

But it gets worse and then

in the Intensive Care Unit,

where families don't stay,

the four of us stay the night.

It is touch and go

I sleep.

I wake.

"You've lost your little boy" says the ICU nurse

...

...

another nurse is holding my other little boy outside so I can sleep, she meant.

Two little boys, irresistible to ICU nurses, used to working with grey old men.

close shave.

Close shave after close shave continue,

encephalitis, brain injury, epilepsy,

it all runs on.

By some miracle

13 years later,

tonight,

I introduce my son to a razor

another close shave.