Class sizes go up in New Zealand

Class sizes go up in New Zealand

Class sizes up,

more children in each classroom...

one teacher fewer in each school...

"...when I was at school there were 43 of us

in the room and look... we all did well..."

Really? What about those who got the strap?

(and hate school still ...( and who instil in their children

(in ways covert and overt) that school was, is and will be 

a bad place.

I wonder what caused the level of frustration that caused the teachers of old to use the strap?

hmmmm.....

What about the children who were scared of the people

who were supposed to teach them things? 

 They had seen the "bad" children getting the strap and crying 

(yes, even the tough ones could not come out without red eyes and tears)

What about those who 

could not read 'said', 'and' or 'what'

 let alone 'Lesley saw the Viscount'

 by the time they were 11?

They couldn't get cheque accounts and licences. 

I wonder why those children were not able to succeed then??

(They may not even be reading this poem. Why would they?)

I remember the teachers then too. 

I learnt to read with the same teachers.

so I know it was not because of bad teachers.

What about the boys who cheated because they knew

their teacher could not monitor everyone all the time?

I wonder now why one teacher might not have been able to monitor the activities

of forty-three 11 year olds???

What about the people who knew that some were cheating

but also knew that there was no way of proving that

 because there were too many other children in the class.

And now, today, on the news, a great idea

lets have only the best teachers teaching

because studies tell us that it is the quality of the teacher

not the numbers of children in the class.

Sounds good.

What's the catch?

They will have 43 students each to teach.

oh.

Hang on, wouldn't it make sense to have both?

Excellent teachers and low class sizes?

Too expensive for now to have both?

ok then why not keep the status quo?

and what if we already have excellent teachers?

Getting rid of one teacher in each school "willy nilly" 

without a complete test of all teachers across all curriculum areas

 and across all extra-curricula areas and including

tests which measure conflict of interest

philosophy, pedagogy, number of hugs given per day on a pro-rata basis,

level of humour, joke telling skill level (poor in my own case (fingers crossed and hoping these words are not my own personal downfall as I can't remember even 1 funny joke (yes, you've guessed, I'm a teacher)))

poetic, artistic, physical skill level

balletic, gymnastic, and musical ability

ability to resolve conflict between both 6 year old girls and 11 year old boys

as well as conflict resolution for the adults in the lives of said students (both professional and personal)

number of times a teacher has called CYPFS or CYFS or whoever they are (you know...the authorities.... the ones with the authority but no common sense)

multiplied by the number of noses wiped and then multiplied by the number of bottoms wiped, band aids placed, shoes tied, lunches provided

balls kicked, ribbons tied, stickers given out, smiles, thumbs ups given

praise relayed to a parent, oh and the number of times those teachers have called a parent to say "I hugged your daughter today when they hid under the desk because of the lightning" (in case a hug is bad) multiplied by the number of times children were ferried from the office to the car when wind gusts over 100kph were being recorded multiplied by the number of children attended to, in the night, during class camps

multiplied by the number of times a black eye has been received by that teacher because a child could no longer cope with getting on a boat

and the number of times the teacher has stood in the centre of a southbound lane with a pen and paper in one hand and the wrist of an unruly child in the other as a 22 wheeler log truck swerves to avoid the two of you....

what, you don't think any of that should be in the test for excellence

oh, 

then how will you test it????

oh

Academic results.

but what if larger class numbers mean that academic results fall?

Ah, you would simply get rid of those useless teachers too,

oh

but then if that happens won't you end up with fewer teachers again?

and larger class sizes still?

and worse academic results?

then no more teachers????

so...

"businesses can educate children"

I see...

"It will be cheaper...

and more efficient"....

Hmmmm, Ten 9 year olds and 1 truck driver, all in a truck drivers cab, all learning as they bowl off down the highway... "hey, Johhny put my CB radio down, Jeanny, leave the gear lever, no Bertie we don't send faxes while in motion, well at least not to ACC anyway, something might go wrong... Sandie recite Pi to 50 decimal places, Roger, were we supposed to take that off ramp???.....

'Here we go round the mulberry bush, the mullberry bush, the mullberry bush...